


The Incompetent Evil Villain

by MarieRavenclaw



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: Crack, Funny, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-21
Updated: 2012-05-21
Packaged: 2017-11-05 18:48:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/409798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarieRavenclaw/pseuds/MarieRavenclaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>AN-This is a funny, cracky, little story that one of my brothers inspired when he said that the evil villian theme was a really hard piece to play on the piano. Written a few years ago, and was posted on FF.net, definitely not canon complacent, though with the crackiness, it wasn't meant to be. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Incompetent Evil Villain

**Author's Note:**

> AN-This is a funny, cracky, little story that one of my brothers inspired when he said that the evil villian theme was a really hard piece to play on the piano. Written a few years ago, and was posted on FF.net, definitely not canon complacent, though with the crackiness, it wasn't meant to be. Enjoy!

Opal Koboi was sitting at her organ, playing the classic evil villain theme. She was waiting for the Mud Boy Genius; Artemis Fowl; and his group of fools. They were Butler—his bodyguard, Holly Short—LEP's Golden Fairy, and last but not least Mulch Diggums—the Dwarven thief who got on everyone's nerves.

She felt really proud of her organ scheme. Only true villains could play the classic evil villain theme as each hand and foot played a different melody from the others. Suddenly, Opal heard echoed footsteps from the hallway. Since she had asked not to be disturbed by her henchmen, it had to be the group of fools.

The door opened. "Good evening Mud Boy."

Artemis snorted. "Enough with the old vampire talk. It is really out of date."

Opal flushed. Artemis was making fun of her, again. She thought of something else to annoy them with. "Today is the day you fail and the day that I take over the world!"

Holly smirked. "Yeah right Opal. This is the only place you have any power. I don't think that you have the ability to take over the world, ever." Opal turned to face them and stood up.

Holly started to laugh, Butler smirked, Mulch rolled on the floor, and Artemis smirked and chuckled. For Opal wasn't really playing the organ—the music just kept on going.

Opal turned and glared at her organ and pushed the foot pedal that switched the recording off. The others were still snickering. She turned back to them and started to walk forward.

Opal tripped over the trap she had set for them and Holly quickly handcuffed her.

Artemis smirked. "You are one of the most incompetent villains I have ever seen."

Opal snarled. This wasn't the way this was supposed to go. She was supposed to gloat and eventually prove the victor. None of the books she had read ended like this, none of the movies she had watched had an incompetent villain.

She glared as they took her away and she was never heard from again.

**FIN**

**Author's Note:**

> I do not know the name of the song played, and my brother never bothered to ask his teacher what the song was. But if you have any ideas of what it could be, let me know and I'll make him listen to them! Also fandom chosen because at the time, it was the only one the two of us really had in common.


End file.
